How to Regain Trust in Your Relationship
When trust is lost in your marriage relationship, it can take a lot of time and effort to regain
that trust. You might feel like trust can never fully be regained, and you
may be right.
However, with much effort from both spouses, your relationship can begin to
heal, and you can move toward trusting again. Based on my own experience, I would like to
share with you how to regain trust in 9 steps.
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Be honest with yourself and with your spouse about your sin. Confess your sin and take full
responsibility for your actions. Neither minimize them nor dramatize them. Just be honest.
Ask For Forgiveness
Ask your spouse for forgiveness. Let them know you regret what you did, you know it was
wrong, and that you will never do it again. And mean it!
Be Willing to Give Details
Talking about your sin will be difficult and embarrassing, but your spouse has a right to know.
Some spouses do not want to hear the ugly details, and some want to know them all. Be willing
to answer all their questions truthfully. You will not regain their trust if you hold back
Break Off All Ties to the Other Person
You MUST break off ALL ties to the other person. Do not keep their number in your phone or
remain connected on social media. Do not meet up just to talk. Discard all pictures, emails,
Staying connected will only leave the door open for further failure and will indicate
to your spouse that you are still holding on to the other relationship. Your spouse needs to
know that the other relationship is Done! Finished! Over!
Put Down Your Phone!
In this age of technology and cell phones, many of your indiscretions likely took place
over your phone. Did you carry your phone everywhere? Did you refuse to let anyone else
look at it? Did you delete things so your spouse would not see them? Being willing to set your
phone down and walk away from it will speak volumes to your spouse. It will show them that
you have nothing to hide.
Read Your Bible
Start a personal Bible reading plan. Gaining biblical wisdom and developing a personal
relationship with God is necessary for overcoming sin and rebuilding a fractured relationship.
It is important to fill your mind with scripture to replace the sin that was residing there. Besides personal Bible reading, engage in a Bible study with your spouse. A study on marriage or purity would be a great place to start.
Along with your Bible study, make time to pray together. Ask God to heal your marriage. Plead
with Him to restore the trust that was broken. Ask God to change both of you and to use you
for His glory.
Communicate With Each Other
You will need to have a lot of hard conversations. Talk about what happened. Talk about the circumstances that led to your sin. Devise a plan to keep it from happening in the future. Answer each other’s questions. Be open and honest with each other about your thoughts and feelings. These conversations will not be easy, but they will be necessary for your healing. They are an important step when you are working on how to regain trust.
Focus on Your Spouse
Find ways to show your spouse that they are the most important person to you.
- Spend time with your spouse.
- Go shopping together.
- Go out to eat.
- Do chores together.
- Make time to play games or watch a movie together without the distraction of cell phones.
- Take a walk and enjoy nature.
- Give genuine, meaningful gifts. These do not have to be expensive, just something your spouse enjoys like a favorite candy bar, flowers from the grocery store, or a favorite drink.
- Show lots of affection! Any kind of intimacy will likely be difficult at first, so be patient.
- Hold hands while you talk. Cuddle up together while you watch a movie. Give kisses freely.
- Touch each other often. You get the idea!
It can be hard work learning how to regain trust in your relationship, but it will be worth it! God’s love and mercy will see you through and can restore what has been lost. Although it might not
seem like it at first, with much effort your marriage can be better than ever!
Have you found these steps on how to regain trust in your relationship helpful? Let us know how you will start to repair your marriage!
This was a guest post by Kelly.
My name is Kelly. I am a wife, mother of 6 (plus one son-in-law), and grandma of one
adorable little granddaughter. I enjoy reading, cooking, playing piano, and country
Recently, I achieved my lifelong dream of living in an old two-story farmhouse.
My story leading up to this is a little bit messy, but it is full of love, hope, forgiveness,
and faith– Faith in God when I don’t understand, faith when I don’t know what lies
ahead, faith to know that God is in control, faith to see the good gifts God is giving me
in the midst of difficult circumstances.
I would like to invite you to join me on this adventure, to offer you hope and encouragement, to share with you the basis for my faith, and to encourage you to “keep on keeping on” for the Lord!
Follow her blog here: faithfullfarmhouse.com
And connect with Kelly on Social Media here: