Why You Shouldn’t Bad Mouth Your Husband (And 3 Things You Should Do Instead)
Marriage can be hard, especially when your husband is getting on your nerves, but does that give you the green light to bad mouth your husband?
We probably all know someone who is constantly spitting out every irritating thing that their spouse does. If we’re honest we have probably even gotten caught up sharing the latest thing our partner did to get under our skin a time or two.
As Christians, is it acceptable to share your frustrations with your husband during your girl’s night out, or in your mommy and me group?
In a word, no.
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Why You Shouldn’t Bad Mouth Your Husband
The Bible is full of verses telling us that we should be careful with what we say, and choose our words carefully. It should come as no surprise then when it tells us in Ephesians not to ” let any unwholesome talk” come out of our mouths.
What is Unwholesome Talk?
If you look up the word “unwholesome,” some of its synonyms include: destructive, harmful, and indecent.
Think about it, by bad-mouthing your husband, you are saying things that are destructive, and harmful to your marriage!While it can be tempting to unload all the things that are bugging you in your relationship, it's a good idea to ask yourself first, will these words build up my husband or tear him down? If your words are that which are insulting to… Click To Tweet
3 Things You Should Do Instead Instead of Bad Mouthing Your Husband
If your husband is on your last nerve and you find yourself tempted to bad-mouth him, here are some Biblical solutions you can try instead!
1. Build Him Up
If you continue reading the second part of the verse above, it goes on to say that instead of using those “unwholesome” words, instead, we should use words that “build others up.” So how do we do this? One way to do this is to focus instead, on the things that your spouse does well.
For example, you might be tempted to say, “My husband always leaves the seat up when he’s done cleaning the toilet and it drives me crazy!” Instead of putting your focus on the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up, think about the fact that he has cleaned the bathroom!
By looking at the good things that your husband does instead of always looking for the bad, you will not only build him up but will also improve your marriage.
Encouraging your spouse instead of bad-mouthing him isn’t always easy, but the more you try to focus on his positive traits, the easier it will be to see the good that he does.
2. Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak
If you are anything like me, the command in James 1:19 is an extremely hard one to follow. I have a really short fuse, and there are many times that I speak up too quickly or speak out of anger. Instead, I should be quiet and try to listen to what my husband is saying.
Referring to the verse from Ephesians again, it goes on to say that we should build each other up “according to their needs.”
By spending more time listening to your husband, and less time complaining about him, you will also be able to learn the best ways to build him up, and what his needs are.
3. Talk to God, Not Your Girlfriends
If bad-mouthing your husband to your girlfriends is off-limits, who can you talk to about your concerns or frustrations?
Praying about the situation that you find yourself in with your husband is not only a good idea, but it’s also the best thing you can do to create a healthy marriage.
Pray for God to give you eyes to see the good in your spouse. Ask Him to help you to know when to hold your tongue, and to help you be slow to get angry. Then pray that He will show you the flaws in yourself, that may be causing problems in your marriage.
Remember, if you are finding yourself annoyed with your husband, there is a good chance that he is feeling this way about you too!
Praying for your marriage will help you both to have a stronger, more loving marriage.
There are days in any relationship when you will find yourself bothered by the things your loved one does.
Next time that you feel this way, ask yourself if you are choosing words that will build up your husband or tear him down. Be sure to listen to the needs of your husband, so you know how to encourage and support him. Pray that God will help you to be a partner who sees the good in her husband and praises him, instead of bad-mouthing him!
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