It started shortly after I found out that she existed. That nudging from the Holy Spirit telling me I should be praying for the other woman.

I tried to ignore it for a while. Truthfully, I had no desire to pray for the woman who had taken so much away from me.

However, the words of Matthew 5:44 seemed inescapable, and I knew what I had to do.

praying for the other woman

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“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:44-45a

I’ve been a Christian all my life. My parents taught me how to pray before I could even speak in full sentences. Praying has never been difficult for me. That was until I began praying for the other woman.

Why I Prayed For The Other Woman

I’ve never really had an enemy in my life.

Yes, there were catty girls in my teen years that I didn’t like being around and co-workers who I didn’t especially enjoy working with. Several people have rubbed me the wrong way, but actual enemies? No, thankfully I hadn’t had any.

Then she came along.

This woman, who crept into my life, took what was mine and turned him into someone I didn’t even recognize.

Yes, I did consider her an enemy.

I was angry with her and hurt by her, and she was the last person on earth I wanted to pray for!

However, I knew deep in my heart that she needed my prayers tremendously. I mean, you have to be pretty lost in your sins to destroy an entire family and not even feel bad about it. She made it pretty clear that she was proud of herself for it.

As a Christian, I knew that if I wanted to act like a true child of God, I needed to pray for the other woman, no matter how hard it might be to do. #restoreamor #prayingforyourmarriage Share on X

How I Prayed For The Other Woman

Praying for the other woman was no easy task.

When I first began doing it, I relied heavily on intercession. I would often pray that God would just know my heart and the prayers I couldn’t say yet.

Sometimes it helped to write things out in a journal. That way I could express what I was feeling. Releasing my emotions in that way helped me to let go of some of the pain I had been holding on to.

Over time I realized that my anger toward her was only hurting me, and what was left of my marriage.

Ironically when I began to pray for the heart of my enemy, God began to change my heart! #christian #christianmarriage #prayers #otherwoman #marriage Share on X

While I was praying for her, I began to feel God chip away at the walls I had placed around my heart. As difficult as it was to pray for someone who had been a part of my pain, it was key in my healing process.

Going through struggles in your marriage can be difficult.

Sadly, I hear women talking about working through affairs often. If you have found yourself in a situation like mine, I would strongly encourage you to pray. Prayer can make a huge difference in your life and your marriage.

Are you a wife who needs support to deal with your husband’s affair and direction on praying? You won’t want to miss our course “Healing the Heartbreak: Finding Hope In Christ When Your Marriage Falls Apart.”

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I'm Meghan, a Christian Marriage Coach, Speaker, and Writer. I am passionate about helping others restore and revive their marriages.


Dar · September 28, 2020 at 5:06 pm

I know I am your Mom, but you just amaze me! I am so proud of you, and how God is using you because of the situations you have been through. “You meant evil against me, but God used it for good.” God is good, all the time!

    M. J. · September 28, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Thank you! Your support during that time, and always has been a huge blessing to me!

Evangeline Samuel · September 29, 2020 at 8:26 pm

It’s remarkable how praying for our enemies actually heals us first before it reaches them. God has done a remarkable work on your heart – that much is clear. Thank you for courageously writing about this – helping so many other women on this road.

Lisa · September 29, 2020 at 9:49 pm

Thank you for your heartfelt honesty. It’s very brave if you to use your painful experience to help others. How to pray for the other woman is a powerful post.

Cathy McIntosh · September 30, 2020 at 9:06 am

Such brave transparency. Thank you for sharing your heart to pray for “the other woman” just as Jesus encourages us in the Scriptures. It could not have been easy, yet your obedience and faithfulness reaped so many blessings. Your story is an encouragement to many!

Ava James · October 1, 2020 at 2:20 pm

What an amazing story and such a unique testimony of God’s grace. I appreciate your honesty and courage. And l know this will encourage many women!

Collene · October 1, 2020 at 5:11 pm

Your heartfelt honesty is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story so that you can help other women in similar situations. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you to do but am grateful God helped you through it and is now using it to help others.

Sheryl · October 2, 2020 at 2:09 am

It’s true that when you heal yourself, you heal others as well. That’s really no easy task, and I am so happy and proud of you that you did something so divine.

Betty · October 3, 2020 at 5:15 pm

Praying for someone who has hurt you so deeply can be quite a challenge. It takes the grace of God to do it. God bless you.

Rachel · October 4, 2020 at 8:23 am

God has granted you such wisdom on this way to heal. Thank you for sharing your story as a way to help others see the heart of God in this incredibly painful situation.

Erin @ · October 4, 2020 at 9:15 am

Wow! Praying for the other woman is so incredibly powerful! I feel so challenged to step up my prayers for my family and marriage.

Teresa · October 4, 2020 at 1:10 pm

Wow! Only by the grace of God and the infinite power of the Holy Spirit can we forgive any wrong, but I imagine this wrong would take an extra dose of faith in our God and His promises in order to get the victory of obedience in not only forgiving her and your husband, but going the extra mile to pray for them both! Praise the Lord for His forgiveness and His help to forgive those who hurt us deeply! Truly God’s command to forgive others is His gift to us! God is glorified through your obedience! Praise His name! Blessings! 💗

Kari Minter · October 4, 2020 at 2:49 pm

What a powerful post! And such an incredible example of following God and praying for your enemies even when you don’t feel like it. Thanks for sharing!

Alice · October 4, 2020 at 7:52 pm

There has been another woman in my marriage. Even though the marriage is over the thought of her hurts. I should pray for her.

Christina Dronen · October 5, 2020 at 12:21 pm

Wow, that’s some Holy Spirit work there! I’ve struggled to pray for my enemies, but then very recently God gave me compassion. .. that those who are acting as enemies are in fact broken themselves and in need of healing.

Mamie · October 5, 2020 at 8:13 pm

Prayer changes things for sure. When we choose to pray for others we find God does something mighty in us. Thank you for your boldness in sharing your story.

Joni Steinauer · October 13, 2020 at 12:02 pm

I know how hard it can be to pray for your enemy. When I started, I literally did it through clenched teeth. It take a strong person to not only forgive those who have hurt you, but to pray for them. God bless you for sharing this powerful testament to His grace and power.

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