How to Encourage One Another and Build Each Other Up

The ability to build each other up, as a husband and wife, is a privilege as well as a responsibility in marriage. 

Ecclesiastes says:

“Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)

This is the reason a God-honoring marriage is a force against the realm of spiritual darkness. Verse 12 says “Though one may be over empowered by another, two can withstand him.” A Christian couple can build each other up, encourage one another, and pray for one another. 

The effect we have on our spouse (and their life), be it our words or our actions, is more powerful than we’d like to believe. It can be used for good, or for evil. 

Would you not rather use it for good? As a wife, I can tear down or build up my husband. 

I’d much rather build him up, and encourage him than tear him down. At times we do it unwittingly, however. Sometimes our actions portray our negative thinking, and sometimes our words tear each other down. 

I once read about a confident man, but each year of his marriage, slowly hung his head more and more. The wife belittled him in front of others, discouraged him, and continuously had a negative outlook on life. 

I was aghast! How could she ruin the life of her husband? 

Then I looked at myself. How often do I correct my husband in front of others? How often do I dismiss his ideas, and forget to encourage him? 

As a wife or a husband, you have a great responsibility, as well as a privilege, to be the one that can build up your spouse. 

Everyone needs encouragement. Without encouragement, your spouse will not die but he will certainly wither. Share on X

Being an encouraging spouse is a habit that you can get into, and everyone should. True encouragement is a balm to the soul. 

build each other up

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5 Ways To Build Each Other Up (and Not Down)

“Therefore comfort one another, and edify one another, just as you are also doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Paul was writing to the church of the Thessalonians, about how they should comfort and encourage one another. 

The same goes for a married couple. If you are both believers in Jesus Christ, you are also brothers and sisters in Christ. 

As a married couple, encouraging and comforting one another is important for your relationship.

Verbally Encourage One Another Daily

We need encouragement daily. Making an effort to encourage each other verbally, and finding the good in your spouse will improve your marriage. 

I often have good intentions and want to be an encouraging wife. Sometimes, I just forget, you know? 

That’s why I created the Intentional Encouragement Planner. If you need help remembering (and being intentional), you can get this planner here for free.

Understand the Power of your Words

The Bible tells us that there is life or death in the power of our tongue. Words can build up, or they can destroy. 

A person who loves his spouse should always choose to speak life rather than death over them. The power of our words on our spouse is something we should consider before opening our mouths.

Look To The Positive

Philippians 4:8 says “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.” 

We have to look to the positive in life. The Bible teaches us that we should think about things that are pure, and lovely. There will always be negative things in this world, but a positive outlook makes a big difference in your marriage, as well as your life. 

Look to the positive qualities of your spouse, and focus on those. With time, your eyes will see his faults less and less, and you will find that there are a lot more good qualities about him than you originally thought. 

Pray For Each Other

Prayer is the most important tool in your marriage. The Bible tells us that the persistent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Prayer is what changes lives. Build each other up by praying for each other.

Say Thank You

Show appreciation. Say, thank you for something your spouse does every day. Saying thank you is such a little thing, but it shows gratitude to the other person. I make supper every day for my family, and I appreciate it when I get a thank you. Your spouse does too. Show appreciation.

Building up your spouse doesn’t happen by just encouraging him once a year. Rather, it is the continuous effort to encourage and lift him up daily. 

Encouraging one another starts by looking for the good in one another, and believing the best about your spouse. 

Speak words of encouragement daily, and make the effort to pray for one another. A marriage where two live in unity and peace, as God planned it, is a blessing to you, and also to your children. Remember to say thank you, even for the little things, and have a heart filled with gratitude.

This was a Guest Post by Marilyn Z.

Hi, I’m Marilyn. My husband and I have been married for more than ten years. We have five wonderful children who keep me on my toes and teach me many things about myself. I write over at, where I teach wives how to become a wife who glorifies God in every area of life. You can also find me on Facebook and Pinterest.

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I'm Meghan, a Christian Marriage Coach, Speaker, and Writer. I am passionate about helping others restore and revive their marriages.


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