Should You Submit To Your Husband If He Isn’t A Believer?

Should You Submit To Your Husband If He Isn’t A Believer?

Have you ever searched “marriage” in the Bible? If you have you probably came across several verses that said you should “submit to your husband.”

Many people today look at these teachings as outdated, unfair, or degrading. Feminists will even argue that the idea of submitting to your husband is chauvinistic.

So what does God mean when He says that “wives should submit to their husbands?” Should you still submit to your husband if he isn’t a believer? Let’s take a look at Biblical submission!

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What is Submission In Marriage?

When people hear the term submit, used in the Bible, they often get the wrong idea about its meaning. Many women see it as being less than their husbands, or beneath them. However, that is not true.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”

EPhesians 5:22 NIV

How Do I Submit Myself To My Husband?

The Bible is speaking about a wife yielding her will to your husband’s, but it’s not saying to do this because a husband is better than his wife. It should be done as a way for a wife to show respect for her husband, not because her husband is more important than her.

The best explanation I have ever heard on this topic was given in the book “Kingdom Marriage.” by Dr. Tony Evans. Dr. Evans uses the example of Jesus submitting to God to show how a wife should submit to her husband.

He explains that although God and Jesus are equal, they have different roles. In order to fulfill what God planned, Jesus, although equal to God even while He was on earth, had to submit His will and authority to God.

In the same way, husbands and wives, though equal, have different functions and roles within their relationship. To have God’s design for marriage work properly, the wife should respect her husband and submit to him.

What Biblical Submission Is Not:

• a husband controlling his wife
• a man abusing his wife
• doing everything your husband says without question
• never having an opinion or an opportunity to express your feelings
• being less important than your husband

Biblical submission is about respect, not control. Click To Tweet

Do Husbands Have To Submit?

If you continue to read Ephesians 5, it goes on to say that husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself us for her.” So although the passage doesn’t specifically say “a husband must submit to his wife” it is clear that God also wants a husband to be devoted to his wife and love her.

Submitting to my husband doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as trying to love my spouse like Jesus loved the church!

While women have an important calling to submit to their husbands, men also have a calling to love and care for their wives. Click To Tweet

Should You Submit To Your Husband If He Isn’t A Believer?

While the Bible is very clear about not being unequally yoked and making sure you marry a believer, there are many situations where a believing wife may have an unbelieving husband.

Perhaps she became a Christian after they were married, or he walked away from God. Whatever the case may be, women in this situation may find themselves thinking “ok all this talk about submission in a Christian marriage sounds great, but do you still submit to your husband if he isn’t a believer?”

Why You Should Still Be a Wife Who Submits to Her Husband

A few weeks ago I shared about the time in my life when my husband turned away from God. In that post, I wrote the importance of letting your husband see your actions, and how you can be a witness to him by continuing to support him and submitting to him.

“Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives…”

1 peter 3:1 NIV

This verse from 1 Peter makes it clear that God intends for wives to submit to their husbands even if they are not Christians. While it definitely makes things more challenging to submit to a man who doesn’t believe the same things, it is what God calls us to do.

If you find yourself in this situation, be sure to pray about it often and let God help you in this, because I know firsthand how difficult it can be!

When You Should Not Submit To Your Husband

There are certain times when it may be dangerous or destructive to submit to a non-Christian husband.

I am not talking about simply disagreeing with your husband on a topic.

I mean a situation where your husband is asking you to do something that is directly disobeying God’s word or harmful to yourself or others.

If you are unsure if you should submit to your husband on something, it is best to ask a pastor or trusted Christian friend.

In addition, it is always important to search God’s word and pray for direction if you are unsure about whether you should choose to submit to your unbelieving husband on something, or not.

Final Thoughts On Submission

As important as it is for a wife to submit to her husband, it is more important that both, a husband and wife, submit to God.

Following God's design for marriage doesn't mean that you will never have hardships, but it is the best way to ensure that you and your spouse will have a marriage that is strong enough to withstand any challenges you may face. Click To Tweet

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