3 Reasons To Avoid Divorce
It seems everywhere we turn these days more and more couples are getting divorced. Sadly, it’s even common to hear of Christian marriages ending. There was a time in my marriage where I was afraid we were headed for divorce. It wasn’t something I wanted at all, and I fought hard against it. By the grace of God, we were able to avoid divorce and now have a wonderful marriage. Obviously, there are cases of abuse or marriages that would be harmful to stay in, where divorce is necessary. However, many marriages that end in divorce don’t have to come to an end at all. Here are 3 reasons to avoid divorce.
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1. God’s Word Is Against It
There are several reasons that divorce should be avoided, but for Christians, the most important reason is because of what God’s word tells us.
The Bible says clearly in many passages that divorce is not something to be taken lightly. God’s design for marriage is that we are bound to our partner for life. This means that no matter what challenges we are facing in our marriages, we must do all we can to stand by our spouse.
God’s word does allow divorce in certain situations, but overall, as Christians, we should not be looking at divorce as a solution to fixing problems in our marriages.
2. Divorce is Painful
Division can take a real toll on families, which is another reason to avoid divorce. We often think of divorce being between two people when in reality it affects children, parents, and more. While I’m not suggesting you stay in a marriage just to keep others happy, it is important to consider the impact your divorce would have. Divorce can be traumatic to everyone involved, most of all your children.
When my husband and I were separated I saw firsthand the effects that it had not only on him and me but also on our kids. Watching your children struggle with depression and emotional distress is horrible. It’s essential to look at the big picture and truly think about the consequences of divorce.
Regardless of what the world around us would like everyone to believe, family is so important. God’s design for families to include a mom and a dad is what works best, so keeping your family together should be your goal.
3. Reconciliation Is Often Possible
There are some situations where divorce cannot be helped. However, there are also many times when divorce is rushed into without even trying to save a marriage. Divorce shouldn’t be seen as a first choice but as a last resort. If you are serious about saving your marriage there are things you can do to fight for your marriage.
3 Things You Can Do To Avoid Getting A Divorce
Don’t let your marriage end without doing all you can to restore your relationship first! Here are some steps you can take to help you avoid getting a divorce.
1. Communication Is Key
Sometimes we expect our husbands or wives to be able to read our minds. I know I am guilty of being upset about things and assuming my husband knows this when he, in fact, has no idea why I’m mad. Men and women are different in many ways, and the way we communicate is no exception.
Talking to your spouse about things that hurt you, or make you upset sounds like a no-brainer, but ironically it’s often overlooked. How many times have you yelled at your spouse in the heat of the moment? Most likely you both got angry, and maybe you moved on, but did anything get resolved? Were the problems solved, or will they still be there in the back of your mind just waiting to be released the next time you get mad?
In order to fix anything in your marriage, you will need to talk to, not yell at, your spouse and explain why you feel the way you do, and how it’s affecting your relationship. Chances are you will find out things that you never knew before, and some of the problems you are having may have a more simple solution than you thought.
2. Marriage Coaching
Seeing a marriage coach can be very beneficial when trying to save your marriage. Getting advice from a professional will help to steer you in the right direction and give you tips on how to communicate better. Having a neutral person listen to different issues you may be having in your marriage can help to give each of you some perspective. Coaching is often a very effective way to help repair your marriage.
3. Pray Hard
Steps 1 and 2 will be helpful if your spouse also believes there are reasons to avoid divorce, but what if your partner wants a divorce or has no desire to get help?
Never underestimate the power of prayer. Who better to speak about hardships in our marriages, than the One who created marriage?Our prayers don't need to be elaborate to be effective. Click To Tweet
Just talking to God about what is going on in your relationship is a great place to start. Praying for your spouse or with your spouse can really help things in your marriage to improve.
When my husband and I were separated I prayed hard and often that God would restore our marriage. The work that He did in both of us during that time is almost overwhelming to think about. The changes that He made in our marriage were amazing. Christian marriage is a gift from God and He wants to see us enjoy that gift.God not only wants our marriages to succeed, He wants to help us make them thrive! Click To Tweet
If you have found yourself headed on a path toward divorce it is my prayer that you will be able to apply these steps and see your marriage restored. You may have several reasons why you want to leave your spouse, but I hope you will first consider these reasons to avoid divorce. Marriage takes a lot of hard work but it is almost always worth fighting for!
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