It seems everywhere we turn these days more and more couples are getting divorced. Sadly, it’s even common to hear of Christian marriages ending. There was a time in my marriage when I was afraid we were headed for divorce. It wasn’t something I wanted at all, and I fought hard against it. By the grace of God, we were able to avoid divorce and now have a wonderful marriage. There are cases of abuse or marriages that would be harmful to stay in, where divorce is necessary. However, many marriages that end in divorce don’t have to come to an end at all. Here are 3 reasons to avoid divorce.

avoid divorce

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1. God’s Word Is Against It

There are several reasons that divorce should be avoided, but for Christians, the most important reason is because of what God’s word tells us.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19:6

The Bible says clearly in many passages that divorce is not something to be taken lightly. God’s design for marriage is that we are bound to our partner for life. This means that no matter what challenges we are facing in our marriages, we must do all we can to stand by our spouse.

God’s word does allow divorce in certain situations, but overall, as Christians, we should not be looking at divorce as a solution to fixing problems in our marriages.

2. Divorce is Painful

Division can take a real toll on families, which is another reason to avoid divorce. We often think of divorce as being between two people when in reality it affects children, parents, and more. While I’m not suggesting you stay in a marriage just to keep others happy, it is important to consider the impact your divorce would have. Divorce can be traumatic to everyone involved, most of all your children.

When my husband and I were separated I saw firsthand the effects that it had not only on him and me but also on our kids. Watching your children struggle with depression and emotional distress is horrible. It’s essential to look at the big picture and truly think about the consequences of divorce.

Regardless of what the world around us would like everyone to believe, family is so important. God’s design for families to include a mom and a dad is what works best, so keeping your family together should be your goal.

3. Reconciliation Is Often Possible

There are some situations where divorce cannot be helped. However, there are also many times when divorce is rushed into without even trying to save a marriage. Divorce shouldn’t be seen as a first choice but as a last resort. If you are serious about saving your marriage there are things you can do to fight for your marriage.

Don’t let your marriage end without doing all you can to restore your relationship first! Here are some steps you can take to help you avoid getting a divorce.

1. Communication Is Key

Sometimes we expect our husbands or wives to be able to read our minds. I know I am guilty of being upset about things and assuming my husband knows this when he has no idea why I’m mad. Men and women are different in many ways, and the way we communicate is no exception.

Talking to your spouse about things that hurt you, or make you upset sounds like a no-brainer, but ironically it’s often overlooked. How many times have you yelled at your spouse in the heat of the moment? Most likely you both got angry, and maybe you moved on, but did anything get resolved? Were the problems solved, or will they still be there in the back of your mind just waiting to be released the next time you get mad?

To fix anything in your marriage, you will need to talk to, not yell at, your spouse and explain why you feel the way you do, and how it’s affecting your relationship. Chances are you will find out things that you never knew before, and some of the problems you are having may have a more simple solution than you thought.

2. Marriage Coaching

Working with a marriage coach can be very beneficial when trying to save your marriage. Getting advice from a professional will help steer you in the right direction and give you tips on how to communicate better. Having a neutral person listen to different issues you may be having in your marriage can help to give each of you some perspective. Coaching is often a very effective way to help repair your marriage.

3. Pray Hard

Steps 1 and 2 will be helpful if your spouse also believes there are reasons to avoid divorce, but what if your partner wants a divorce or has no desire to get help?

Never underestimate the power of prayer. Who better to speak about hardships in our marriages, than the One who created marriage?

Our prayers don't need to be elaborate to be effective. Share on X

Just talking to God about what is going on in your relationship is a great place to start. Praying for your spouse or with your spouse can help things in your marriage to improve.

When my husband and I were separated I prayed hard and often that God would restore our marriage. The work that He did in both of us during that time is almost overwhelming to think about. The changes that He made in our marriage were amazing. Christian marriage is a gift from God and He wants to see us enjoy that gift.

God not only wants our marriages to succeed, He wants to help us make them thrive! Share on X

If you have found yourself headed on a path toward divorce it is my prayer that you will be able to apply these steps and see your marriage restored. You may have several reasons why you want to leave your spouse, but I hope you will first consider these reasons to avoid divorce. Marriage takes a lot of hard work but it is almost always worth fighting for!

Are you and your spouse struggling with communication in your marriage? You’re not alone! Seeing this need for improvement in communication, we decided to put our marriage coaching skills to work and create a course that would help couples fix things that may be harming their relationships, and replace them with the skills that can make their marriages thrive. This course is for anyone willing to put in a little effort, to see big results! Join us as we share the “Keys to Communication In Marriage” and the “Steps to Take” to apply them!

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Meghan

I'm Meghan, a Christian Marriage Coach, Speaker, and Writer. I am passionate about helping others restore and revive their marriages.

19 Comments

Beth · August 31, 2020 at 6:30 am

I hope this encourages those who are considering a divorce, Meghan! Very inspiring and true post!

Hannah Wade · September 1, 2020 at 6:01 pm

Marriage is definitely a roller coaster! Thank you so much for sharing.

LILY MTONGWIZA · November 4, 2020 at 2:15 am

I think divorce is on the rise because people want a quick fix to their problems. They want to change their circumstances so that they can feel better. But that doesn’t really work the way we think it will. Divorce should never be something that is rushed. It is traumatic for the family and it won’t make anyone feel better. Of course, if there is abuse, that’s a different story. But by and large, if you’re just unhappy, or you don’t feel in love anymore, those things are choices and we can make the choice to fall in love again if we want to.

Ava James · November 4, 2020 at 3:31 pm

Sometimes it doesn’t work out this way, but l am so glad God redeems everything from our past and uses it for His glory. Thanks for your encouragement of hope and honesty!

Victory · November 5, 2020 at 5:06 am

A very crucial topic for couples, I grew up watching my parents love and understand each other. When I have my home, divorce will be out of it. Amen

I hope this post helps those who are considering divorce, God is still in the business of healing homes

Teresa · November 5, 2020 at 8:25 am

Such a needed message in our world today. Marriage truly is difficult, but life would just have different heartaches and problems were the marriage to end. God’s command to not divorce has kept me in my marriage when times were so difficult, especially those first fourteen years before my husband was saved. Commitment to God is first necessary, then commitment to our spouse will follow. We celebrated 35 years this year…all glory to God! Blessings! 💗

Carla · November 5, 2020 at 8:34 am

I have been married for over 30 years and can truly say that my marriage is the most beautiful and most difficult thing in my life. It has brought me the highest highs and the lowest lows but through it all, it has taught me about selfless love, sacrifice, and forgiveness. It has been the most effective tool for teaching me about the kind of unconditional love God has for me.

Collene · November 5, 2020 at 2:58 pm

I pray this encourages anyone struggling in a difficult season of marriage. It can be so hard but the advice you gave is really good. As a child of divorced parents I know first hand how painful divorce can be for the kids.

Mary Armand · November 5, 2020 at 8:11 pm

Divorce is an Important topic that needs to be discussed more often. It strikes so many couples even Christians. Thanks for your helpful tips!

Teresa · November 8, 2020 at 7:03 am

In reading this article, I found the tips to be applicable to relationships in general too. You hit on important keys for all relationships. For example, communication and prayer should be part of all of the important relationships that God has placed in our lives. And even counseling can be appropriate in some relationships within the family.

Evangeline Samuel · November 8, 2020 at 2:05 pm

Well said! I hope this article serves as a blessing to the people considering divorce.

Betty · November 8, 2020 at 2:26 pm

It’s good practice to explore all available avenues for reconciliation before divorce. But sometimes, divorce is inevitable.

Pam Morrison · November 8, 2020 at 4:06 pm

So important. Many struggle in their marriages in much pain. You have given some really good tips for how to move out of that into a beautiful and working relationship. Thank you!

Kari · November 8, 2020 at 9:52 pm

This is so well written and I pray it makes it’s way into hands who desperately need to hear this truth! Thanks so much for writing this!

Karen · November 8, 2020 at 10:46 pm

I think divorce is often considered the easier way out of a bad situation when the relationship is broken. Healing takes work and lots of hard effort. God is the healer of broken hearts and relationships!

Sheryl Mendoza · November 10, 2020 at 5:53 am

Thanks for sharing this! Praying all marriages to always be blessed by the Lord!

Karen · November 12, 2020 at 8:59 am

This is a brilliant post! I especially love what you said about fighting for your spouse and not fighting him. I have a good marriage but I know I have to fight for my husband on my knees. Thank you for your valuable writing gift of encouragement!❤️

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