Why You Need to Know Your Love Language

Are you familiar with the five love languages? Do you know your love language?

Each “love language” represents a different way that a person feels loved.

Most people tend to show love to others by doing the same things that make them feel loved. However, the way that you feel loved, might not be the same way that your partner does. This can create difficulties in your relationship. Share on X

That is why you need to know your love language, but also identify the language of your spouse.

know your love language

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What are the Five Love Languages?

1. Words of Affirmation– If this is your language, you probably like receiving compliments. Verbal encouragement is important to you, and you are most likely a good communicator.

2. Quality Time– People who feel love this way will want to spend plenty of time with their partners. For this person, it won’t be too important what you are doing together, it’s more important that their spouse is making time to be with them.

3. Receiving Gifts– Someone with this love language will really appreciate it when their partner goes the extra mile with gift-giving. It’s not that they are greedy, it’s more about their spouse putting thought into what they give to them, to show them how special they are.

4. Acts of Service– A person who has this as their language will have the heart of a servant. They will show you their feelings more than tell you them. This person is usually a hard worker.

5. Physical Touch– When this is your love language, you feel most loved when your spouse is affectionate. You might enjoy holding hands or having your partner put their arm around you.

Have you identified your love language? What about your partners?

Why Is It Helpful To Know the Love Languages Of You and Your Spouse?

It’s important to know how both you and your spouse feel and show love. When you understand your love languages, you can better understand your spouse.

1. Knowing Your Love Language Helps You Learn About Yourself

I’m a writer, so using words to express my feelings comes really naturally to me. That being said, it came as no surprise to me when I identified “words of affirmation” as my “love language”.

Knowing and understanding my love language, made me realize why I longed for my husband to tell me how he felt about me. It also helped me recognize that there were times that I would compliment my husband, simply because I wanted a compliment back.

2. Knowing Your Partner’s Love Language Helps You Learn About Them

It wasn’t until I started looking into “love languages” that I realized my husband and I have two very different ways of communicating.

When I figured out that my husband shows his love, through “acts of service” it made a huge difference in our marriage.

While I was waiting for my husband to tell me how he felt, he was desperately trying to show me his love. He’s always been good about helping me around the house, but for years I had no idea that was his way of saying, “I love you!”

Likewise, I didn’t know that me making my husband a special breakfast or even taking out the garbage, was saying more to him about my love than my words were!

Final Thoughts

Figuring out how you and your partner communicate love can be a useful tool in your marriage.

Do you ever feel like your spouse doesn’t make you feel loved or doesn’t understand you? Perhaps you just need to learn more about what your love languages are!

It’s helped me to realize that I could talk non-stop about how great my husband is, but when I show him what he means to me, that’s when he actually hears me.

How will it help improve your marriage?

Learn more about the 5 Love Languages by taking our New Course “Marriage Masterclass For Christian Couples.” Learn why knowing what language you and your spouse speak could be life-changing for your marriage. If you ever feel frustrated that your husband doesn’t make you feel loved the way you want to be, this marriage course is for you!

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I'm Meghan, a Christian Marriage Coach, Speaker, and Writer. I am passionate about helping others restore and revive their marriages.


Amie · August 9, 2020 at 1:45 pm

Figuring out our love languages has been a game changer in our marriage. The whole time I thought I was doing all of these nice things that he should appreciate, while he was looking to be loved in another way! This gave us the tools we needed for sure!

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:13 am

    Yes, girl, same here. I kept thinking why doesn’t he appreciate the compliments I’m giving him, and return them? Meanwhile, he was loving me in a totally different way! It was a great book for us too!

Daa · August 9, 2020 at 1:47 pm

It is so important to know the love languages. My husband and I have different ones and read about them before marriage, which I think every couple should do. Great post!

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:10 am

    Thank you! I agree, knowing your love languages before starting off a marriage is great advice!

Tiffany · August 9, 2020 at 8:26 pm

I have just started reading this book. Not only does knowing your love language help your relationship with your spouse, but with others also.

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:09 am

    Yes! It is so useful in all relationships!

Linda · August 9, 2020 at 9:27 pm

M.J. you are SO RIIIIGHT! “Figuring out how you and your partner communicate love can be a useful tool in your marriage.” This applies to parents and children too!

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:08 am

    Absolutely! The older my kids get, the more important this is becoming!

Heather · August 10, 2020 at 12:19 am

Love this. It’s easy to forget how important this is in a relationship. When you’ve been in it for a long time, you forget how much happiness is affected by what they are you receiving from you. I needed that!

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:07 am

    So true, sometimes it’s like we start to get a little lazy when we’ve been married for a while!

Mocha Momma · August 10, 2020 at 3:09 am

I enjoyed this. Not married yet but still apropos for the relationships I share with my, children (adult), extended family, and loved ones.

    M. J. · August 10, 2020 at 5:06 am

    Oh yes! I can really apply to any relationship!

Kimberly Hamilton · August 10, 2020 at 1:30 pm

Yes!! Knowing your love language along with your partner’s is SO important! Mine is Word of Affirmation and my husband’s is Physical Touch. When we figured out our love languages are different it was a game changer!

Ginger Harrington · August 25, 2020 at 12:02 pm

Understanding love languages has helped my relationships. Now for the remembering and applying consistently!

Lisamarie · August 25, 2020 at 1:15 pm

I love this post! It was greatly written and I remember the first time I read the book…I fell in love with the book! It is life changing when you know more about yourself and more about your partner. Another life changing thing in my relationship from the very beginning was the movie, book, and journal “Fireproof”. What a great post…thank you for sharing.

nicki schroeder · August 28, 2020 at 9:54 am

Great reminders for understanding how to love others.

Amy · August 28, 2020 at 1:28 pm

Yes! I took a class on this years ago and have been hooked! I’ve learned so much about myself and my family.

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